ITZ GOING TO BE A BUMPY RIDE!
Good Evening yallz busters... Better recognize... Where I come from is still the westcyde till I die... why ask why...? as the world keeps spinning to J A R A M I Double L O... Doncha know...?
oooooooookay...
Well since it has been a while since I updated my Blog... I have a lot to catch up on... To my fortune I haven't told anybody about this blog until now... So you haven't missed a thang...
So let us see if I can grab your dilapidated visual cortex and have you come back for more... I know I will...
I promise I will make every effort to update this thing daily with my qwerps and unwitty humor... as well as my views on not so new movies, books, and Iraqi Reconstruction 101...
THE ULTIMATE UPDATE
Since August 28th I have been shot up, shot at, shot things and various other fun things the U.S. Army likes to put people through... Let me remind you I joined the Air Force... not the Army... I guess you could say I was leased to the Army for 8 monthz... As I just found out it was because of another foolish decision in my life to become a faux-Chemical Engineer... more on that later...
Ok... a rational military minded person has already pointed out with their eyebrow that you can't just send an Air Force officer into the Army... That is like slipping in Ying Yang Twinz track at a Rodeo dance... You just don't do that... In the Army you just don't do that without training...
So I was off to Ft. Carson Colorado (next to Colorado Springs) for my formal deairforcification and my take it in the rear army training... There I learned how to kill people, heal people, and peal open an MRE in less than 2 seconds... Besides teaching us there is nothing you can do but to drive faster to escape an IED (Improvised Explosive Device) that was the jist...
Off to D.C... After my green paint dried off, I took a shot of Patriotic enhanced energy drink Red White and Bull (get it?) while touring the sites of our nation's capitol... My very cool and supportive parents came out there to see the sites with my for the first time... At night I met up with my old friend Annie and her boyfriend Minh to see the sites at night... THANKS GUYS! The Iwo Jima memorial at night is something I will never forget... unlike that bowling game... ANYWAYS... Then the coolest thing ever as my bud (the one that used to make things smooth), Nolan Sambrano made a trek all the way from Connecticut to see me one more time before my innocence is lost in the sand... Anyone that is willing take a 6 hour tour on a train and a chinese bus named Double Happiness to see his friend for a couple of hours (less than 16 hours!) is worthy of remembrance... and a Hoo-ah bar!!! Send me your address Nolan! Note to others... Do something nice... get a Hoo-ah bar... But for real... serio for a sec... Nolan... I appreciate it more than you could imagine... even if my chances of getting shot were a lot higher at the McDonalds than here in Iraq (50% vs 25%) ... Thanks Nolan... I will see you on the tracks of Mario Kart...
Off to Kuwait... On the way making stops in the Reichland (where I could swear I heard by brother partying with my cousins) and the place where the Sopranos came from, I arrived in Kuwait... quickly shipped off to Army training part deux...
Off to Tatooine... To all you Star Wars aficionados you would love this place... You could almost smell Obi-Wan's home cooking... Why does the military find the worst places on earth to conduct training...? Why? WHY WHY! Anyways... More shooting... la la la... and we are done...
From Tatooine to Naboo...err excuse me... Ali Al Salim AB (Air Base) ... One of these when I am bored I will go over the subtle differences between an Air Force Base in the middle of hell... and an Army Base in the middle of hell... Let us just say for now I had a Cinnibon every morning with my cappuccino while pondering if I wanted to get a back rub or a manicure...
Off to Iraq... Finally I arrived in a country where people really like us... Taking a C-130 in the middle of the night it truely a blast... I recommend it at least once in your life... oooohh your not in the military? HAHA too bad...! Don't you wish you were in my position...?!?! Me over here in the middle of Iraq... you over there in front of your TV with a frosty... cold... perspiring... commercially induced brainwashed thirst for that alcoholic beverage...
...moment please...
...composure regained...
i hate you
Just kidding...! Ok... So yea that was cool... Landed at a FOB (Forward Operating Base) ... name withheld due to security reasons... Then we took a cruise through Tikrit aka convoy to get to another FOB... Convoy's will be the topic of another blog because of the sense of dread, fear, and excitement they produce... And here I am... Chilling at one of Saddam's old palaces... I love what the U.S. Army has done with the place...
Well it is chow time... and my finger tips hurt... so you can go now... but don't forget to come back...
I know I will... Inshallah...
Wars do not make one great...
- Yoda
Good Evening yallz busters... Better recognize... Where I come from is still the westcyde till I die... why ask why...? as the world keeps spinning to J A R A M I Double L O... Doncha know...?
oooooooookay...
Well since it has been a while since I updated my Blog... I have a lot to catch up on... To my fortune I haven't told anybody about this blog until now... So you haven't missed a thang...
So let us see if I can grab your dilapidated visual cortex and have you come back for more... I know I will...
I promise I will make every effort to update this thing daily with my qwerps and unwitty humor... as well as my views on not so new movies, books, and Iraqi Reconstruction 101...
THE ULTIMATE UPDATE
Since August 28th I have been shot up, shot at, shot things and various other fun things the U.S. Army likes to put people through... Let me remind you I joined the Air Force... not the Army... I guess you could say I was leased to the Army for 8 monthz... As I just found out it was because of another foolish decision in my life to become a faux-Chemical Engineer... more on that later...
Ok... a rational military minded person has already pointed out with their eyebrow that you can't just send an Air Force officer into the Army... That is like slipping in Ying Yang Twinz track at a Rodeo dance... You just don't do that... In the Army you just don't do that without training...
So I was off to Ft. Carson Colorado (next to Colorado Springs) for my formal deairforcification and my take it in the rear army training... There I learned how to kill people, heal people, and peal open an MRE in less than 2 seconds... Besides teaching us there is nothing you can do but to drive faster to escape an IED (Improvised Explosive Device) that was the jist...
Off to D.C... After my green paint dried off, I took a shot of Patriotic enhanced energy drink Red White and Bull (get it?) while touring the sites of our nation's capitol... My very cool and supportive parents came out there to see the sites with my for the first time... At night I met up with my old friend Annie and her boyfriend Minh to see the sites at night... THANKS GUYS! The Iwo Jima memorial at night is something I will never forget... unlike that bowling game... ANYWAYS... Then the coolest thing ever as my bud (the one that used to make things smooth), Nolan Sambrano made a trek all the way from Connecticut to see me one more time before my innocence is lost in the sand... Anyone that is willing take a 6 hour tour on a train and a chinese bus named Double Happiness to see his friend for a couple of hours (less than 16 hours!) is worthy of remembrance... and a Hoo-ah bar!!! Send me your address Nolan! Note to others... Do something nice... get a Hoo-ah bar... But for real... serio for a sec... Nolan... I appreciate it more than you could imagine... even if my chances of getting shot were a lot higher at the McDonalds than here in Iraq (50% vs 25%) ... Thanks Nolan... I will see you on the tracks of Mario Kart...
Off to Kuwait... On the way making stops in the Reichland (where I could swear I heard by brother partying with my cousins) and the place where the Sopranos came from, I arrived in Kuwait... quickly shipped off to Army training part deux...
Off to Tatooine... To all you Star Wars aficionados you would love this place... You could almost smell Obi-Wan's home cooking... Why does the military find the worst places on earth to conduct training...? Why? WHY WHY! Anyways... More shooting... la la la... and we are done...
From Tatooine to Naboo...err excuse me... Ali Al Salim AB (Air Base) ... One of these when I am bored I will go over the subtle differences between an Air Force Base in the middle of hell... and an Army Base in the middle of hell... Let us just say for now I had a Cinnibon every morning with my cappuccino while pondering if I wanted to get a back rub or a manicure...
Off to Iraq... Finally I arrived in a country where people really like us... Taking a C-130 in the middle of the night it truely a blast... I recommend it at least once in your life... oooohh your not in the military? HAHA too bad...! Don't you wish you were in my position...?!?! Me over here in the middle of Iraq... you over there in front of your TV with a frosty... cold... perspiring... commercially induced brainwashed thirst for that alcoholic beverage...
...moment please...
...composure regained...
i hate you
Just kidding...! Ok... So yea that was cool... Landed at a FOB (Forward Operating Base) ... name withheld due to security reasons... Then we took a cruise through Tikrit aka convoy to get to another FOB... Convoy's will be the topic of another blog because of the sense of dread, fear, and excitement they produce... And here I am... Chilling at one of Saddam's old palaces... I love what the U.S. Army has done with the place...
Well it is chow time... and my finger tips hurt... so you can go now... but don't forget to come back...
I know I will... Inshallah...
Wars do not make one great...
- Yoda
posted by Mariuz at 6:36 AM
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