"Mini-Lo... stop humping the laser!"

The details of my life are quite inconsequential.... very well, where do i begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with a low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.

Another creation from Shazaan-O...

Shazaan-O eating a cookie... wondering if he will get a PSP for Christmas this year...

And the fun continues in Iraq... I must admit... Looking at the past couple of blogs... there has been a sort of blaise about them... A lil' sullen... A lil' too religious... No doubt some of you are probably thinking Mark is turning into one of those Zealots where everything has biblical connotation... I will not turn into anything over here... I will not change... I may conduct buisness in a different fashion... May appreciate things a lil' bit more... Everything may have deeper meaning to me... but I am the same ol' chubby Mark that is afraid to walk across bridges... Religion has always been a strong pillar of support for myself... more so here since I do not have those around me that I am used too... so it will bleed into my thoughts and typings on the blog... I am not trying to make you Catholic... you already are... you just don't know it yet... Just kidding... I think people get caught up in the constant battle of religion before they can see what it all is about... A guide to happiness is the way I see it... A bunch of lessons on how to be at peace with all the crap life throws at you... Yes there is a spiritualistic side to it all... but that isn't everyones forte... Religion breeds rifts between people... even though the aim is to bring people together rather than apart... I believe people fear religious aspects they don't understand... you crazy Catholics with your rosaries, statues, bloody crucifix, and unmarried priests... you crazy Muslims with your 5 prayers a day, no alcohol, haij, and imams... you crazy buddhists with your beads, chubby statues, good luck, and bald monks... don't be afraid of all that stuff... if don't understand ask... if you don't want to ask then accept that is what they want to do... For Buddha's sake don't get into an arguement or worse... even if they are Mormon... :)... Don't worry about other people's belief systems... worry about your own... do you believe in something...? are you going about it the right way... you know if you are or not... it is that voice in the back in the head... i know you hear it... listen once in a while... maybe you are lucky and don't need an insitution to guide you... As for me... I happen to need my Church... Helps me think through things... lets me hear more clearly... that is just me... not you... do it your way... I have learned more tolerance, fortitude, and hope in my solitude of sand than I thought possible... the weekly half hour (Mass is only a half hour here...ha!) sit downs with the big G allows me to focus it... so when I spit out words that come from Sunday's mass I am trying to suggest maybe an alternative way of thinking about things... all boils down to respect for one another... and then you can spread that respect to your family, friends, strangers, and enemies... It might make you feel better... if it doesn't... find another blog... j/k... now POST!

My mom puts the crazziest things in my care packages... keeps my hands warm though...

I have a new pair of thinking gloves...

I told my friend once, before I came over to this place... That one of two things are going going to happen to me here... I am going to become what I really am... or I am not coming home at all... There are no other options... much like the Emperor "I have foreseen it..." while the baddies have tried their hardest to make it the latter... We are still here... What does that mean... means we have another four months to go... CINCO De MAYO RULEZ

This is my december... this is my time of the year... this is my december... This is all so clear...
This is my december... this is my snow covered home... this is my december... This is me alone...
and I...
Just wish that I didn't feel that there was something I missed...
and I...
Take back all the things I said to make you feel like that...
and I...
Just wish that I didn't feel that there was something I missed...
and I...
Take back all the things that I said to you...
and I... gave it all away...
Just have to somewhere to go to...
gave it all away...
To have someone to come home to...
This is my December... These are my snow covered dreams... This is me pretending...
This is all I need...