SAY HI TO THE BAD GUY!

Das right... Das right... Me and the homies have no scratcheez on us...! Try again lata Mr. Bad Guy... You know what... You a Cocka-Roach...!!

Welcome back to another exciting adventure of Mark Dangers and Wonder Boy M-Lo... Last time we left the dynamic duo in unknown peril... What happened you ask...? I can give you the long story... or the short story... Not being short with words... I will give you the long short story... As ju know we had to go up to Kirkuk... what goes up... must come down... So after meetings with some really fat Iraqi Colonels and looking at some common placed environmental hazzards that would make Exxon Valdez cringe... It was time to depart... We gotta go on a long stretch of road... quite like the 10 between Phoenix and Blythe... There are a couple things you see commonly on a road trip in Iraq... First and foremost a bunch of pot holes from previous IED/VBIED explosions... After a while they say you can tell which ones are new... You want to stay away from fixed pot holes because those pesky bad guys like to put bombs in those... Also people like to hang out on the side of the road and give you hand gestures... from the wave... to the finger... whether they know what the finger means or some G.I. taught them that it means peace... I don't know... Also cars like to line up on the side of the road for no good apparent reason... Is there a sale at Ross...? And lot's of sheep/goats running around... So we chit chat on out nifty intercom things... Oh by the way... I got to be the vehicle commander on this venture... what that means is a 20 year old Army Sgt (vehicle operator) told me what to do and when to do it... I would like say I had the coolest vehicle crew this side of the Tigris... well both sides for that matter... The Sgt dude is the operator... A 4ft nothing specialist chica was our gunner (I heard one of the best gunners) ... And of course M-Lo... So we discussed everything from Soju to Absynthe... which can be bought on the internet legally... Hey Chairman check those facts... All the while keeping the eye out for things that go BOOM...! So finally we make to the city of Tikrit... The usual bustling of a 3rd world country street is going on... No adherence to law and general chaos... You definitly want to keep an eye out here cuz there are so many things that come at ya... Driving along the Sgt Operator dude says to be... Hey that looks like a VBIED if I have ever seen one... and I say... Yup...! The Tale Tell signs of a VBIED are as follows... Lowered (not like the homies in the lowriders... these don't have hydralics... just a bunch of bombs that keep it low... to the windooooooooooooooow...) ... looks like a hooptie with it's tail pipe draggin (no one is going to use their brand new beemer... come to think of it every car here looks like a hoop ride...) ... and brand new tires (Don't want to get a flat on the way to Allah...!) ... So yea... we give it a wide berth... and only the penantent man shall pass... and we do... about 30 - 45 seconds later a rear gunner says... Would you look at that...!!! A big ol' cloud of black smoke is rising behind us... My Sgt Army Dude Operator says... I knew it...! I knew it was a VBIED...! This is where you think... woa... and press... Now the U.S. Military has developed many ways to mitigate the implentation of such devices... of course I can't tell you cuz you would have to Die... but we think it worked... and we lived another day... regardless whatever that was it didn't have our name on it... and that is a good thing... right M-Lo...? We got future adults to develop and another Hooka to light up... You try not to think about the what ifs cuz it would drive you crazy... so you cover them up with a smoke or nonsensical topics such as Donnie Darko or Young Frankenstein... but it always kind of creeps in there... that is what Prayers are for... at least for me... and for those Cocka-Roachaz that tried and failed...

We Bury You...

Cash Rules Everything Around Me... CREAM! Dolla Dolla Billz Yallllllllll... Like the Meth said... it does... That pic above has me holdin 200Gs+... No I didn't find a secret stash of cash... That is how we pay for things... cash money... Uncle Sam only deals with Pepe Iraqi in greenbacks... So naturally I needed a cigar in my mouth for the full effect... Funny though... I didn't feel like this money was worth any monetary amount to me... It was worth a plane ticket home...

That's the way it is with a wiseguy partner. He gets his money no matter what. You got no business? Fuck you, pay me. You had a fire? Fuck you, pay me. The place got hit by lightning and World War Three started in the lounge? Fuck you, pay me.

-Henry Hill

P.S. to Lee... Yes I was laughing like Ray Liotta... now go home and get your shine box...